Sinking

She was sinking….too slow, but certain and too deep. With each month she was getting closer to the state of disappointment, regret and unspoken anger. She was sinking and she manically feared the water.

For the Nth time she is in a situation when understanding is too far, compassion needless and peace of mind unreachable. People saw only her soul surface and the decorative part of her life. They thought that she had everything besides the reason to complain. But as she had read in her “Little Prince”, what is essential is invisible to the eye. And she is not willing to show it to those who are blind.

She’s swallowing back the tears and tries to gain back the control she usually has. She’s felt like this many times before and she knows she’ll overcome this too. It’s already a time to get used to the fact that sometimes or even often closest people may not understand her. It’s time not to expect understanding and look for a soul mate. 

On her road through the years she had found few soul mates, but the wind of life and time blew them away… one by one, and they disappeared as fast as they had been found. And the ironic part of it is, that all those soul-mates were strangers, who never took a role in her life… role of lovers, friends, husbands….role of stably present characters. They are mainly people from the past, who passed through her life to where they belonged and will never come back. 

She’s sinking…. But when she listens to the words he tells, understands their meaning and feels the force by which they hit her soul, she thinks that maybe there are other things to fear more than the water.

When she looks at his face and hears his hitting words she’s afraid of the potential upcoming scenarios… which may not be as kind as the water.

She’s sinking… and who knows, someday, when she hits the bottom she may find her lost soul mates there waiting for her.